What My Grandmother's Scarf Taught Me About Leading from Source
Synchronicity, and the Patterns We Inherit
A note before we begin: We talk magic here, so I love sharing magical experiences. I hope this one gives you a reason to dive deeper into connecting with — and healing — your relationship with your ancestors. Because the way we carry our lineage doesn’t just shape our inner world. It shapes how we lead, how we show up in our businesses, and whether we operate from pressure or from something deeper and more sourced.
A Synchronicity at My Mother’s House
As I personally move through The Shamanic Wheel — releasing things that are long overdue for complete closure (thoughts, beliefs, old patterns, fears, old parts of myself, etc.) and both forgiving and honoring some of my ancestral relationships, bringing them into Ayni, “Right Relationship” — I wasn’t entirely surprised by what happened next.
I was visiting my mother’s home to use her infrared sauna (I know… so good!), and I went to grab the keys to unlock the sauna door, when a few items fell to the floor.
Immediately, I saw my grandmother’s photo. It was a newspaper clipping of her “In Memoriam,” and it contained a prayer. Underneath it was my grandfather’s as well.
The photos and prayers brought tears to my eyes (and a few tender giggles!), because just a few days prior, I had been speaking to them — whispering words not so different from these I was now reading. It was as though they had gifted me the exact prayers to speak to them daily.
In that moment, I said to myself, “Of course.” It’s something my Coven sisters and I would say every time we had a synchronistic moment. This one felt especially tender.
I’m sharing the prayers below, in case you found this article synchronistically too — and find your own connection to your loved ones through them.
But There Was More
A week earlier, I’d seen a reel from a young man sharing the best way to style a hair scarf. It caught my attention, I saved it, and I remember telling myself, “Gosh, I need to get some of these. I don’t own any.”
What also fell to the floor along with the photos and prayers was a beautiful pink and gold scarf. I knew in my heart it belonged to my grandmother. I felt her telling me, “Wear it, and know that I’m always with you.”
I sent a photo of it to my mother, and she confirmed: “Yes, it was Mami’s!”
So here I am, wearing it and honoring her.
Why This Matters for How You Lead
These small synchronicities are reminders that we are never truly alone. Our ancestors want to hear from us. They want us to keep them alive. They are always whispering to us, supporting us — and that includes supporting the work you’re here to do in the world.
Here’s the part I want to sit with you on, especially if you’re a woman leading a business, a team, or a vision:
The patterns we inherit from our lineage don’t stay in the past. They show up in the present — in how we work, how hard we push, how much we feel we have to prove, and whether we lead from pressure or from something steadier underneath.
If you’ve ever noticed yourself over-functioning, over-giving, or feeling like rest has to be earned, that pattern likely didn’t start with you. It may have been handed down — a survival strategy from someone who came before you, now living in your nervous system and your business decisions.
Healing Difficult Ancestral Relationships
For those of you with more difficult ancestral relationships, here’s what I also know: we can still heal those relationships so they don’t cause a drag on our energy, and so we don’t pass on behaviors, beliefs, and traits that need to be severed. Instead, we can place them where they belong — in our history, not in our day-to-day.
We’re not meant to carry every ancestral tie and story forward. That’s not wise, and it’s not sustainable. This month, I said my peace to some of my ancestors, and at the same time, I validated what they may have been going through. No one gets through this life without some pain. In recognizing this, and acknowledging it through this exercise, it lightened my soul — and gave me the chance to see them differently, to feel differently about our relationship, and to call in the gifts and support I’d like them to offer me now.
This act of forgiveness, release, and respect is spiritual medicine. It can heal decades of future heaviness for you, and for the future of your lineage — including the people you lead and the legacy your work leaves behind.
What We Carry, Consciously and Unconsciously
A meaningful step in this kind of healing is to think about your ancestors and how you continue to carry them — both consciously and unconsciously.
Even with the ancestors I adored, the ones I had a strong relationship with, I realized there were traits of theirs I still carried that were holding me back — traits I’ve likely passed on to my own children, too. At the same time, I recognized aspects of them I wanted to strengthen in myself. For those, I’ve directly asked them to support me in cultivating.
This is the work of leading a sacred, sourced life: not abandoning where you come from, but choosing — consciously — what comes with you.
A Reflection for You
Take a few quiet minutes with this. You might journal your answers, or simply sit with them.
Think of one ancestor — someone you knew, or one further back in your line.
What’s one trait, belief, or behavior of theirs that you notice showing up in how you lead, work, or run your business — especially under pressure?
Ask yourself: is this trait still serving me, or is it time to release it with gratitude?
Is there a gift from this same ancestor — a strength, a steadiness, a way of being — that you’d like to call forward and strengthen in yourself instead?
Write both down. If it feels right, speak them aloud — as a small ceremony of release and invitation.
At any time if you need support in clearing these energetic ties, just reach out. I’m happy to support you.
The Prayers
To my grandmother, Amelia:
Mami, sing me a song
That will ease my pain
Mend broken bones
Bring wholeness again.
Heal my heart
So that I can see
The gifts of yours
That can live through me.
To my grandfather, Mario:
Papi, you are our caretaker,
Mountain-mover,
Earth-shaker,
Mentor and helper,
Shoulder and shelter.
Always here to guide us,
Always here to be
The champion of our dreams.
Through my tears and love for them, I commend you on this powerful writing. So very meaningful and heartfelt.
Love the scarf on your hair! Mami is so proud; Papi so grateful…